Friday, June 14, 2013

GI Joe: Rise of the Cobra

    In a word, awful. I know, I know, I shouldn't be surprised, but I was really hoping that this would be entertaining. The first one was ridiculous, but at least it's still fun to watch! This was just painful. However, there was one good thing about this movie: the 3D was pretty spectacular, and I generally HATE 3D.
    There is really not a whole lot to say about this movie. It starts kind of like that scene in Zoolander where all of his idiot model friends are going around having a great time, skipping smiling, playing with gas, you know, normal things. Then BOOM, someone lights a cigarette at the gas pump while they're all drenched in gasoline, and the fun is abruptly ended and the next shot is a funeral with 4 caskets. That's kind of what happened. They spend time adding in some new characters to mix with the old, then BOOM, for no real reason, the old characters are all gone and all you're left with is the Rock. Zoolander made sense. It was supposed to be funny and ridiculous, and Channing Tatum was not one of the removed characters.
   There is then a ridiculous progression of firefights, the Rock in all his muscular, manly glory, and some side-kicks who try to act like the original G.I. Joe characters. The firefights and action scenes are impressive in the sense that they involve a lot of firepower, but that is it. This movie is really nothing but needless explosions in which everyone miraculously survives, even the bad guys a lot of the times!! There is very little substance, and what is there is unoriginal, horribly cheesy, and simply laughable. I mean, I seriously laughed for the last 30 minutes of the movie, which were not intended to be funny, because it was just THAT ridiculous. Yes, the first go round they melt the Eiffel Tower, but that is not ridiculous compared to what they do in this movie.
    In the end, I'd give this a 3 out of 10. There really is nothing to it, but I have seen worse.
 

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